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A SMALL FRY WITH A BIG EYE

HOME
ABOUT
- WHO I AM // 20 QUESTIONS
- PHOTOGRAPHY PHILOSOPHY
PORTFOLIO
CONTACT

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For more of my everyday adventures, give me a follow on Instagram @meganjaneburgess

It's been a while. Posting something for the first time in three months feels like running into someone you haven't seen for a while. There's a feeling of familiarity, but nervousness as you're not quite sure what to say. I feel that. If you know me, posting is something I love, and consider to be therapeutic. But I've realized the last months have left me with a lot less words. Probably because all the advice and encouragement I wrote about were things I've chosen to blatantly look past and ignore. So this is me, admitting it: I've lived in my head. I've let pain overwhelm me and build thick walls around my heart. I've let doubt and fear reinforce lies that I am at fault, I'm worthless, and unloveable. I've tried to swallow feelings and pretend everything's fine, or that anxiety and uncontrollable sobbing is normal. I've gone days without checking my phone, leaving "How are you doing?" messages unanswered. I've made myself feel too much, and simultaneously nothing at all. I've given myself little to no grace as I've sat staring at the wound heartbreak so unwelcome-ly left. I let the ghosts in my mind and the loneliness win. I'm not proud of it. I don't recommend it. But that's the path I let myself wander down. It's hard to retrace your steps back to what feels normal after brokenness and betrayal. "What if" questions are all-consuming, and taunt you with every variation of a situation; past, present, or future. The last 6 months have felt like blip and an eternity. I probably won't post at the level I used to, but I figure it's time. Time to slowly find a path back to myself. Back to some sliver of normalcy. Back to an honest happiness. To peace. I am not saying the pain is gone, because it's not. Yesterday reminded me of that. I'm not sure when it will ever subside, but I am praying as time continues forward, it will fade. I'm not sure if the path you're on today is dark or light, but I'm writing to tell myself that there's room on dark paths for people to walk alongside of us. There are people who will stand alongside of you, Meg. People who will fight for you when you can't. You are enough. You still matter. Your pain is not meant to be dealt with alone.

"Heart-shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice." // Psalm 51:17 | #thatsdarling #honestcaptions #liveauthentic #keepexploring #shereadstruth

"Be careful who you make memories with. Those things can last a lifetime." // Ugo Eze | #thatsdarling #honestcaptions #keepexploring

"I need words as wide as sky.
I need a language as large as this longing inside.
And I need a voice bigger than mine.
And I need song to sing you, that I've yet to find.
I need you." // DC*B | #thatsdarling #honestcaptions #liveauthentic #listeningnow #keepexploring

It's true that my new work might just be the cutest new spot in North Park. (Maybe even arguably the whole city?!) It is all things pink, and flowery, and delicious (and vegan/gluten free)...and of course - all things matcha. It is fabulous, and friendly, and had its official grand opening this past weekend. I am seriously blessed to be a part of the happy, helpful, "holy" team of matcha-ristas who hand whisk some pretty darn good drinks, if I do say so myself! So please, don't be a stranger! Doors are back open tomorrow at 10 am. Stop in, come see us, and partake in the cutest matcha tea party in town! | #thatsdarling #honestcaptions #holymatcha #holymatchasd #thisismycommunity

"And sometimes, I kept my feelings to myself because I could find no language to describe them in." // Jane Austen | #thatsdarling #honestcaptions #liveauthentic #lovewell

"Old ways won't open new doors." // Unknown | #thatsdarling #liveauthentic #honestcaptions #lovewell

"We can't have the happiness of yesterday without the pain of today. That's the deal." // Shadowlands | #liveauthentic #honestcaptions #lovewell #thatsdarling #communalcoffee

Starting a petition to make little feet and chubby legs the new "it" trend of 2017. Even though no one could ever pull it off as good as little Tommy does. | #thatsdarling #honestcaptions #liveauthentic #shortography

"Actually, the best thing you could have given her was a lifetime of adventures..." // Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland | #liveauthentic #honestcaptions #thatsdarling #lovewell #keepexploring #explorePDX

megan.shortography@gmail.com | Copyright © 2016 Megan Burgess, All Rights Reserved.